A Starry Night

Oh starry night. How pained, swirly, ferocious and frightening… yet beautiful, charming and dazzled with life you are.

May twenty-seven, two-thousand-fifteen.

Guys, today is my little brother’s birthday! And I made and sent him a card. [Yes, I made it! No I’m not twelve!! But I’ll admit, I am stubbornly opposed to paying upwards of $4-$8 for a thick piece of construction paper with someone else’s words, made from the earth’s limited and precious materials, and only to be distributed to hundreds, thousands, millions (?) of random people! And will they even get it? Like……. not get it, but get it?!?]

Ok. Back on track.

When my brother was born, he was just a wee four-pounds-something-ounces. And he had fuzzy, red, beautiful hair ALL over his body! He was a teeny-tiny human-monkey!!! And oh my! He was sooooooo so so so so cute! By the way, my sister and I were both over a decade older than him when he was born; so clearly (obviously), he became our real-life doll.

But now all that red hair has moved to his beard. My ‘little’ brother is 22-years old today, and… He. Has. A. Beard!!! What is happening?!

Today, (despite the ridiculousness regarding the card) there is a great distance between my brother and me – a great deal more than the physical miles between Colorado and Minnesota. It’s my deliberation, but not my choice. I made the conviction, and in the name of love and health, I will stick with it. This is a horrible place to be – for the both of us I’m sure. And my brother may hate me forever. But the hope is, one day, he will love and respect me more. Hope.

I hope the anger and blame subsides with the days, weeks, years and wisdom. I hope that instead of anger, peace fills those cracks and crevices. And I hope that the sense of peace feels so good that it starts to grow in him! And grow exponentially. And only goodness comes from peace. So I hope, one day, my brother stands before me as the man we raised and love (and, by then, maybe trust, respect, and adore!).

The card I made for my brother has an image of Van Gogh’s Starry Night on its front. I’m not very poetic. But I’m good at research. After choosing this very particular recycled card front among so many, I wondered why I was so drawn. According to one interpretation of the Van Goth masterpiece, even with the darkness of the night, it is still possible to see the light the windows of the houses.

Brother, if you’re out there, even with the dark nights, I see your light. And your light will shine better than houses, better than skyscrapers, better than the SUN. 

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