BUT IT’S SO DAMN HARD!!! AAARRRRRGGGGG!

Why be thankful? How be thankful?? Rejection note after rejection letter, followed by complete non-responses… all the while submitting myself to this ultimately horribly not-good-for-the-self-esteem, personally draining and draining of all personal relationships process? Why or how should I placate myself with these thoughts?!

Well, I guess…

• I have my health
• I have my independence
• I have my guy, my love, my rock
• I have my family
• I have my friends
• I have economic stability (relatively, temporarily)
• I have food to fill my belly
• I have a roof over my head
• I have a second job, which  is not a career but I OH so love!

Wow. Let’s take a pause. That seems like a lot of “haves”. Must it always boil down to the ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’?? 

What about, I am?! Let’s think about this...

• I am strong
• I am healthy
• I am intelligent
• I am responsible
• I am DAMN hard working
• I am creative
• I am taking the necessary steps for making a better, brighter future – and not just for me – for all of life on EARTH! 

What else? I am so horribly wracked with the knowledge of what we are doing to our home. So much so, that I am willing to go through this ridiculous process rather than vying for a seemingly, more obvious government job.

And here’s another “am”. I am attending the Climate Reality Leadership Corps training this September (holy crap that’s like THIS month!!!) . On September 26, I head to Miami (yeah holy crapness -- that’s a city whose dwellers constitute an amazing amount of climate change deniers given the FACTS!!) 

And I am 60% of the way to my goal to getting there. (Apparently, some amazing, caring, loving people BELIVE IN ME!!! They've gotten me just 40% away from reaching a really important goal… all the way!!!) If you’d like to help push me into the 90th percentile, not only would that be awesome, it would feel awesome. The support from my friends, family and believers-in-me means the most – YOU are what makes my heart and perseverance surge on.

Love.

Yesterday, I woke up to something I found rather ridiculous. Allow me to explain the use of this word.

Both streaming on National Public Radio, and shortly thereafter, the top story airing on an early morning Wall Street/Money/Market TV show (the bf rather enjoys the host, by the way; a balding white guy in his 40s or 50s who strikes me to be well read, savvy, a bit angry and… constipated) was this:

Red. Scary. Squares.


On the screen were dozens, maybe a couple hundred, red squares arranged in a matrix. One or two of the squares occasionally transitioned from red to green, but the majority of them were red. Very red. Blood red. This, of course, is the visual representation of the message I had gotten brief wind of on NPR. These squares were the equivalent of TYPING ALL IN CAPS!!! They were angry! They were finger-pointing! But… what do they mean?

Well, apparently, yesterday, Monday August 24, 2015, marked one of the biggest and worst market crashes in…….. well, in quite a while. And the media loves it. You see, on this day, this thing in China called the Shanghai Composite fell 8.5%. Eight-point-five may not sound like a lot. But this drop turned out to be the biggest one-day loss since 2007. It’s notable. Additionally, this worst single day drop in a while happened to happen in the world’s second largest economy (some say the largest). That would be China, of course.

If you don’t know what any of that really means, don’t feel bad. I didn’t. I did some reading and some talking, which can help. [But sometimes I wonder how much any of the ‘experts’ really understand either.]

But guess what else y’all?! The China drop had a ripple effect. #Shocking. It’s going viral. Markets all over the world were affected, but of course, what was highlighted on NPR and oh-bald-dude’s show centered on, none other, us. That is the U S of A.  Big time businesses on Wall Street recorded all kinds of heavy falls yesterday. And each major fall was represented by a red square.

Guys, admittedly I’m scandalously skirting around some serious details here, both intentionally and not. Intentionally, because I don’t spend enough time intricately studying the market (stocks, bonds, futures, trades, derivatives, projections, profits, shares, etttttttceteraaaaaaa) to speak to it in any sort of educated sense. Not-so-intentionally, because, well, I’ve got a different point to make.

Back to yesterday morning. As I readied myself for work on this otherwise run-of-the-mill Monday (both NPR and Money-Market-Guy chirping in the background), a thought popped into my head. And it was this: “WHAT the HELL???” I was overtaken by a perplexing thought. I was perplexed at how this creation of human kind [note: this is not a creation of Mother Nature, a higher power, the crazy lady next door, what-have-you…] our creation can even crash? If we are still alive and kicking, why is our prized and cherished creation……. crashing? Furthermore, how can fictional structures containing the idea of money trading back-and-forth [note: let us remember that money is yet another human creation] have such power over us? I mean, this hoopla has caused some serious panties to bunch up into tight, walled-up, balled-up, angry little knots!!

As I bid good day to my love, and began my journey to work – these thoughts still flurrying around cerebrally – I actually began laughing …………… out loud. I was overtaken with how utterly ridiculous it all is! Oh the devastation of the economic slowdown! The horror that our constant pursuit for intensifying global economic growth may halt! Oh the struggles and pangs! Oh how will we ever survive?!

And then, the immediate world around me began to reveal itself. As if the city of Denver were disrobing, I began seeing with a fresh pair of eyes all the many more ridiculous dramas that happen every single day – some of which I participate in – on a micro scale. How about going into a job, day-in and day-out, every week, 50 weeks a year, where you’re working for ‘the man’? Where you’re pushing buttons and filling orders, and meanwhile, your brain (and your butt) is turning to mush? Is that not ridiculous? And for what? So you can make the car payments on your depreciating asset in the form of a 2012 Audi [not my vehicle by the way]? So you can drive your single occupied vehicle in a mad rush to get to work only to enter a troupe of thousands, millions of others SOV drivers engaging in the same act, at an average speed of 20 mph? Each actor, of course, is just steaming behind the steering wheel, wishing ill will upon the person driving the vehicle in front. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. Break. Accelerate. Break. Buses and bicycles easily pass. But for what? To keep up with the Jones? To buy that condo with the walk-in closet and fitness center? Isn’t this all………………………. just a little ridiculous? Dare I say, isn’t it all related to one, simple word: Greed?

I’ll tell you what’s not ridiculous, though. Taking an extra 15 minutes to lie in bed in the morning to snuggle with your boo, even if it means you’ll be a little late. Allowing a person to merge in front of you with a smile, and being rewarded with a friendly and thankful wave. Big belly laughs. Laughing loudly! Crying when you feel sad. Following your GUT. Chasing your DREAM. Living LIFE. FEELING ALIVE! Or maybe just… belting out your embarrassingly favorite song in your car on your way to work. #PrinceWhenDovesCry

So now that my inspirational morning has been sufficiently shared (I hope), I’d like to add a small caveat here. In no way does this blog intend to reduce or diminish the potential damages – real life damages – that do sometimes result from these economic crashes, especially in regard to folks of lower socioeconomic statuses. After all, just like with the effects of climate change, it tends to be the lowest rungs of society who are least prepared, therefore suffer the worst. And again, I ask, for what? For the pursuit of money—err—happiness? And there, again, lies that little, but oh-so-caustic word: “greed”.

I encourage you all to do some disrobing of society in your own unique lives. I believe it to be so very important.

I bid you all good night.